Ugh my life is such a weird mess right now. Well technically it isn't a mess, but I seem to be making it into one. *Sigh* Okay so here is what's going on: I am 25 years old and I still live with my parents. To many people, that is no big deal; a lot of people my age (and older) live with their parents. For some odd reason, however, this is bothering me. I feel like a baby. I really do. And I'm putting myself through a guilt trip because of it. I have gone out and looked at apartments, but the ones that I like are out of my price range and I guess you could say that I'm kind of scared to look at others...maybe it's because I have never lived away from home before (I'm not counting overnight camp or college here) or maybe it's because I'm just...I don't know.
I just feel like it's wrong to still be living at home; I should be living out on my own, but maybe it's my personality or something inside of me that has always said that I am one who needs to be near my parents. Sure I could have stayed in TN when I heard that my dad found a job in Ohio. But I chose to come along. Why? Well one reason is that I have absolutely no family in TN. The other reason? Well I just felt that I couldn't stay in a place that I didn't have immediate accessibility to my parents that I do when I live with or near them. Does that even make sense?
I'm basically lost here and I am scared. Yes I know I probably sound like a baby for being afraid to live away from home or looking at apartments for that matter, but I'm not like my friend who I have known since the first grade. She has always been outgoing and she went to school in Iowa and where did I go? I went to a college that was 20 minutes from my house. I lived in the dorms so I give myself credit for that, but still...I feel like in the past she has inadvertantly mocked me for not living on my own. I heard it in her voice when I told her I was going to Ohio with my parents. But I'm not basing any decisions on what she says or what anyone else says for that matter; I just don't know what to do right now and it's scaring the sh*t out of me.
And if I write anymore, I'm going to lose it.
-Lisa
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3 comments:
I can't say I know how you feel, but, there's no need to worry. A lot of people are afraid of that sort of thing.
me and everyone else are always here if you need to talk. :)
i kind of understand. i mean not really because i've never been in that situation bit i know what you mean. i know you may feel pressure to move out but wait until you're comfortable, don't just do it because you feel like you should. you know? <3
think of the bright side, maybe living with your parents is cheaper =)
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