And So The Process Begins

Well today I decided to go back to the apartment complex that my parents and I looked at last weekend. After a lot of pondering over what apartment seemed to have the best amenities, security, etc... I finally came to the conclusion as to which one I liked the most. So today my mom and I drove over there and talked with the woman who helped us on Sunday. I filled out the application, paid the application fee, and the deposit which means the apartment is now reserved in my name. :-) Now all I have to do is settle on a move-in date! I'm thinking the end of October which gives me a good chunk of time to figure out what I will want to go where and what I'm going to need to buy.

My dad surprised me this evening when I called him...he said that he and my mom are going to cover the cost of the movers! This was a surprise because I am very used to doing everything for myself and by myself. Yet how could I possibly pass something like that up?! I'm already going to have to be buying a bunch of other things so I guess he decided that he and my mom should do something to help out. It's times like this when you really come to appreciate your parents; not because they give you things, but because of what they want to do for their kids every now and then. Cherish those moments guys.

After my mom and I finished up at the complex, we decided to go to Chili's for lunch. I hadn't been there in a while and we figured that since it was on the way home, why not. When we finished, my brain started to trail off. That's basically when the reality of, 'Oh my gosh, I'm going to be moving in a month and I'll be living on my own for the first time! What the hell am I doing?!' As that was happening, I almost went through a red light. Oops. Thankfully I didn't and stopped in time (granted the anti-lock brakes did kick in...). My mom wasn't upset though which was a good thing. Had she been upset, I could have had a full blown anxiety or panic attack in the car. Now that would not have been good.

Once we were home, I got on the computer for a while. That reality was really starting to kick in and I was now having a full blown anxiety attack that was presenting itself in the form of depression. For some reason my anxiety attacks have been coming in that form lately. Weird. I took a 2 hour nap which helped a little bit, but I was still rather nervous. My mom had to go usher at the Beavercreek Community Theatre for a play they're putting on so after she left I got off the computer and lay down on my bed, put my earphones on and listened to part of Wicked. Well that wasn't helping one little bit. For those who don't get anxiety attacks all that often or don't suffer from General Anxiety Disorder or Depression (I have both...well I'm bipolar actually), when you lay on your bed and think about absolutely nothing during an attack, it isn't going to help. All I thought about was how scared I was. I finally just said 'screw it' (okay I didn't actually say that, but I was thinking it) and changed into my workout clothes. I then went downstairs to the basement where we have our stationary bike. I put the CD of Wicked in (I'm addicted to that show) and started riding. I figured that I would ride for about 20 minutes or so. That would probably get me thinking about something else and would probably help me calm down...

Well 36 minutes and 7.5 miles later, I felt a lot better. Not only did I have a really good workout (I burned 190 calories; the most I have ever burned while riding the bike in that amount of time), but I felt much better. My head was clear and things were starting to come into place. Yes I'm still really nervous, but at least I'm not having an attack.

I guess that does it for now. Have a great weekend and I'll be writing more at some point.

-Lisa