Life...

I don't know about you but these past couple of weeks (hell, the whole month has been like this) have been the worst weeks of my life so far.

I am moving, as you probably know, into an apartment come October 28th (or the weekend after...it depends on how much we get moved). Well this is supposed to be an exciting event right? Ha. Try the most stressful thing I have ever dealt with. And I thought studying for one of the biggest tests of my life in high school was stressful. It is nothing compared to this.

Now for some people, this is easy; it is really exciting and they just WANT to and are READY to get out of their parents' house and move on with life. I'm ready to move and trust me, I do want to, but I'm not like other people. Stress isn't something that I deal with very well. I have never dealt with it very well. This stress has caused me to have countless panic and anxiety attacks (the fact that I am bipolar doesn't help) and I have withdrawn from things I really like doing.

My Mom, however, saw right through me...I'm not very good at hiding my anxiety or depression...she suggested that I go see a therapist or social worker. I complied; I mean what is the harm with going to see someone and spill your guts to them? I saw a social worker for half my life when I lived in IL...well I had been seeing one since I was about 7 to age 14; then we decided that she just wasn't helping so I stopped seeing her. I wasn't really seeing anyone about my anxiety (BAD move on my part). I would occasionally see my psychiatrist...this man, however, did not help in the least.

To make a long story short (too late), I finally found the PERFECT social worker. She was the best thing that had happened! I saw Joanne for 9 years. I saw her right up until we moved to Nashville. Since then, I have been seeing a psychiatrist for my medication. But I have not been going to a social worker. This is something that I should have done right when we moved. But hey, it's never too late to start. So tomorrow I am seeing a social worker. I only hope that I can build up the same kind of trust that I did with Joanne and that I will be able to tell her anything and everything that is going on.

All right this is pretty boring....if you're reading this, thanks for 'listening.' So if anyone was wondering why I have been so distant lately, the above paragraphs have the answer.

-Lisa